The Fowler Family Christmas Letter

"I'm amazed that you two are able to think up something new and stupid every year." ~ Lonnie's Mom

2001 - The Year of the Smile

The year we met with image consultants. Our favorite reaction that year was a friend's dad that just "assumed we ran into some money and got Sara an implant."


Dearest family, friends, and people we feel obligated to send a Christmas letter to,

It's that time of year again. Time for holiday cheer, decorating trees, singing carols, playing in the snow, twinkling lights, candles, the fire department, coaxing Sara out of a second story window, staying at the neighbor's house, remembering to get their permission, the police department, mug shots, and posting bail. You know, all the regular holiday stuff. Fond memories for us all.

Well, things in Nashville have really picked up since we starting meeting with our image consultant. The results have been amazing. Notice anything different? Our social life has. . . Well, mosty Sara's. Lonnie just can't stop smiling.

We needed a new start after the big fire at Stitched in Grease. The authorities said there's only so much you can do when you've got a doughnut shop full of flaming embroidered cactus pillows. We now know how true that is.

We're sure you're all wondering 'what do you do when your dreams go up in smoke'? You take that big fat insurance check and buy a tobacco plantation is what you do. That's right, two-thousand acres of addictive bliss. We're even about to market a tobacco flavored sports drink -Powerbacco - the juice you don't spit. But before you call us up for an order, our lawyer said to tell you it might make you pretty sick. With that out of the way, there are two flavors - Regular and Irregular. Regular is $5 a case, Irregular, $5 Canadian.

In our spare time, we've been very busy. We've been to Gary, IN twice. And if that's not enough, we've been tearing up the local karaoke circuit, getting our fair share of line dancing, and taking in all the NASCAR you can shake a stick at. The karaoke started happening for us once we got the new image going. We've been bringing down the house with our rousing rendition of "Islands in the Stream." To be honest, we've won quite a bit of prize money. But don't worry, we'll put every spare penny into developing some new smooth and refreshing Powerbacco flavors.

Other than that, not much is new. Lonnie is still doing jury part time and Sara is still doing community service.

In conclusion,
Lonnie and Sara
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