The Fowler Family Christmas Letter

"I'm amazed that you two are able to think up something new and stupid every year." ~ Lonnie's Mom

2004 - The Year of the Kroger Checkout LASIK

This is the year where we started to actually start to settle into a style for the letter. It was also the first year that we ditched the pre-made holiday photo greetings from the store and started to use photoshop to create the image we wanted, with a greeting and all.


Dear people,
Merry merry, quite contrerry. Merry Christmas.

Last year, we may have mentioned in passing that we had a time machine. We were mistaken. It was just a cardboard box equipped with a lite brite and an egg timer. We're actually a little embarrassed and frustrated that we spent so much money on it. Especially because the egg timer didn't even work. Nobody likes overcooked eggs.

We realized there was something horribly wrong with our eyes when the overcooked eggs turned out to be golf balls. We knew there was only one solution. Laser vision correction.

Unfortunately, wasting so much money on our "time machine" left us with few options. What do you do when you can't afford a certified LASIK eye surgeon? Who knows - but here's what we did.

Though crude, we believe there are viable "home" remedies for LASIK surgery. The first being - staring into the laser scanner in the self-checkout lane at Kroger. Lonnie's prescription required 7 seconds for each eye. Although this sounds like a good idea, we no longer endorse Kroger as a LASIK eye center. Lonnie's as blind as a baseball bat.

On to Sara. We decided to get serious, borrow some money and buy an argon floride excimer laser machine. The real deal. Our eyes (well at least Sara's) are too precious to gamble on with a grocery store laser. We couldn't borrow enough money to hire the doctor and buy the machine, so we settled on just the laser with Lonnie at the controls.

You may see where this is going. Lonnie didn't. His extremely poor vision led to an extremely botched procedure on both of Sara's eyes.

It has been quite an adjustment since "bad idea '04." At first, it diminished Sara's cross-stitching skills. However, her now abstract looking creations are pulling in some extra cash to help pay off the laser machine. Life hasn't been the same for Lonnie, either. He's been having trouble finishing the crosswords in the TV Guide. We'll get by.

Kiddie has been coping with our poor decision-making like a trooper as always. She's been helping with our financial losses by getting the inside scoop before races down at the dog track.

Well, we're running out of space and don't feel like telling you anything else.

Thanks for your support,

Lonnie, Sara, and KIDDIE
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